Editorial: Greens go silly

It never fails. When political ideologies are taken to extremes the silly factor kicks in. Both parties are susceptible to such nonsense, but the latest giggler is wafting from the ethereal planning realm of the Democratic National Convention. Some 50,000 Democrats will gather in Denver in August.

Planners already there, apparently not used to the thin air of the mile-high city, seem to be a little light-headed.

In a marvelous display of political correctness conflated with elitist environmental sensibilities, the convention's organizers are determined to make the event the "greenest" political convention ever.

Good luck to them, although it appears they'll need more than luck. They are learning quickly that "going green" is not as simple as greenies think it is. Consider:

• Convention organizers want an organic cotton, union-made-in-the-USA fanny pack. Problem is manufacturers and suppliers say such a pack does not exist. The Dems' official merchandiser couldn't find one that met the requirements anywhere in the nation.

The same was true for baseball caps. They found a union cap or an organic cap, but not union-organic cap.

• Biodegradable balloons (seriously) have proven to be a very tough problem. Even after extensive testing (burying test balloons in a compostlike medium), the balloons just wouldn't degrade. Best guess: There will be lots of balloons, biodegradable or not.

• They plan to measure greenhouse gas emissions from posters, airplane trips, food preparation and discarded coffee cups. Really, they do. The official "carbon adviser" will do that work, and to atone for the convention's carbon footprint, Democrats say they'll invest in renewable energy.

• There will be no fried foods at the Democratic convention. Fried food is not politically correct. We envision hundreds of delegates sneaking out of the convention hall to get a good meal in one of Denver's restaurants. If they dare to enjoy a burger and fries, they'll probably be looking over their shoulders for the convention food police.

• Then there's the utensil dilemma. Plastic, which is petroleum-based? Or china, which must be washed in a lot of water? Talk about problems. What's a greenie to do? Just grab a handful of organic salad and eat it with fingers?

• The Coors factor is driving the party's lefties nuts. The famous brewery (which really is a green company) is donating biofuel made from beer waste. Great idea, except the lefties are upset because the Coors clan is about as conservative and Republican as a clan gets.

This is funny stuff. The nation is at war and the economy is tanking, but Democratic convention organizers are obsessing over biodegradable balloons and organic fanny packs. It's hard to take 'em seriously.

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