Celebrate May: Holidays get more unique as the months go by
Ever hoped it would be socially acceptable to celebrate odometers, go in public with no pants or do the godforsaken chicken dance? If so, May is your time to shine.
Among those three obviously rational observances are dozens more you would never have thought existed -- probably because there's not a large demand for most of them. Still, it's fun to have a reason to rejoice, even if it is over something as simple as cellophane tape (which is recognized May 27, in case you want to start planning your party).
The month is typically most well-known for days like Cinco de Mayo, May 5; Mother's Day, May 13; and of course my birthday, May 15. Presents are more than welcome and, if you have a Bentley Continental lying around, feel free to send it my way.
Intermixed with the more prominent holidays are several that see much less attention. Lumpy Rug Day, aka May 3, is a prime example. Not ready to jump on that bandwagon? Wait 24 hours and try celebrating Respect for Chickens Day on the 4th.
Do the little cluckers a favor: Pull away from Hager Heights or Randy's and steer the car toward Long John Silver's or Red Lobster instead. There's nothing about May 4 that requires you to have respect for seafood.
Use the following week to drown your guilt with a number of parties to take your mind off the shrimp and scallops filling your stomach. Start celebrating your right to say "no" by throwing shindigs for No Pants Day (May 4), No Diet Day (May 6), No Homework Day (May 6) and No Socks Day (May 8).
OK, you may want to rethink a party on No Pants Day, but the other three options are solid.
As the middle of the month approaches it's time to focus on style as May 15 celebrates Nylon Stockings Day and Straw Hat Day. It may be the lone day of the entire year that you can pull off wearing those two items at the same time. Even then, it's a questionable fashion statement.
A few days earlier, take some time to rid your closets of things you no longer need or want and find somebody who does. May 12 is Give Your Stuff Away Day so take advantage of the opportunity to help others while also reducing clutter in your own life.
Many months feature holidays that focus on various foods and May is no exception. May 18 is particularly delicious, holding the title of I Love Reeses Day as well as National Pizza Party Day. Ironically, the same day is also National Bike to Work Day, so right after you exercise on your way to the office make sure to even out that healthy behavior with a giant slice of pizza.
You'll be glad you got to enjoy one last greasy meal before May 21, which some are predicting is the new date of the rapture. But if their predictions prove faulty and life extends longer, celebrate the excitement with a few more unforgettable observances: World Turtle Day, May 23; National Tap Dance Day, May 25; and Slugs Return from Capistrano Day, May 28.
There's no better way to close out the last full month of spring than by dancing with your turtle and searching for those slimy slugs you've no doubt been missing all winter.